Tag Archives: signs

35 Treinta y Cinco: A Birthday Dream

35

It is said that dream time is when we fly to heaven.  My dreams are often elaborate and memorable, they’ve always been.  Passed relatives, God, the angels, and creations unknown to this world infiltrate my mind with ornamental color and sound.  Last night, the night before my birthday, I excitedly drifted to sleep.

My visitor was a small, gray haired woman about the age of 80.  Her skin was glowing, her eyes warm, and her subtle smile comforting.  She never said a word but began to show me things.  The way that she presented these things was different.  Instead of simply being shown a picture, she allowed me to experience.  A simple merry-go-round turned into all of the sensations of the ride:  the lights, music, the up and down motion, and the sense of thrill.  A field turned into me walking into the field, the sunshine warmed my back, musky flowers filled my nose, and the wind danced around my body.

We moved slowly away from the experiences, and back into reality.  She was a part of my family.  She came to church with me, ate lunch with us, and helped me take the kids to the bathroom after the meal.  As we left the bathroom, she said something to me in Spanish.  I quickly answered back, impressed with my Spanish repertoire, and my sister (who is actually fluent in Spanish) was impressed.

Now to the present moment:  My alarm goes off.  Time to get up and exercise.  Oh yeah, it’s my birthday.  OH!  My dream was so crazy last night!  Who was that woman? 

The birthday workout is killer.  I’m exhausted!  Time to drive to work.  Oh yeah!  That woman, who is she? 

The morning commute allotted plenty of time for my mind to wonder, to relive the dream.  Just as I determined it was Mother Teresa, the Spanish phrase resurfaced, and then I knew.  The woman is Abuela.  My brother-in-law’s grandmother.  Abuela (Spanish for grandmother) visits me often but I don’t always recognize her because I’m not looking for her.  I’m expecting someone from my side of the family.  With this dream, I am confirmed in knowing she looks after me as well and is actually overseeing my continued growth here on earth.  Her Mother Teresa-like energy reminds me to lead with a giving, servant’s heart.

I felt selfish for even thinking this…but I wondered why I didn’t hear anything from Paw Paw, Grandma, Great Grandma, Nana, or Jerry?

Paw Paw died two years ago and has been invading my dreams ever since.  I welcome him and look forward to it.  As I opened the web browser on my phone, I saw a picture of my sister and me.  We took the picture the last time we visited Ohio two years ago for his funeral.  There it is, a birthday wish from him too!

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Hidden Messages

PandGI recently read a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer titled Memories of Heaven. It’s a collection of short stories told by parents about their children’s fascinating stories and proclamations of being with God in heaven before birth. As I read the book, a few of my own children’s stories were validated. I had no idea so many other parents have experienced the same thing. Here’s one of my stories.

Before my daughter’s birth, or even the thought of her birth, back in the My Space days (for me 2005-2007) I blogged about a bizarre but comforting phrase that popped into my head every morning and frequently throughout the day. The thought was a little voice that said “I love you.” In the beginning I thought it was so weird that myself was telling myself “I love you”…almost every day. “How selfish” I thought, but as it continued I accepted that maybe it was God or my grandmother telling me “I love you.” This made it feel more normal. I continued to be perplexed at how and why…even when I thought I’d forget for one day…there it was “I love you.”

About 2 years after it began it disappeared, and I didn’t even realize it–until my daughter started talking. The first time she told me “I love you mommy,” brought tears to my eyes and made life so totally worth it! From that day on she tells me multiple times a day and at random “I love you.” She’ll pause her favorite show on YouTube and yell “MOMMY!” I’ll come running in thinking there’s a minor emergency, and she’ll politely say “I love you.” Today I dropped her off at her class, she got half way through the door, ran back out in a hurry, tugged on my sleeve, and whispered in my ear “I love you,” then happily ran into her classroom.

Her consistency made me remember the little voice that paraded through my mind continuously for two years “I love you.” I can consciously think “I love you,” but it’s not the voice…it’s not the same. I can’t help but think it was her the whole time. God proves to us what is real in the unseen, we just don’t take the initiative to realize it…silly, left brained humans we are!

Her diligent nature also encourages me to love myself. She’s so deep in her five years of wisdom! Loving yourself is hard…really hard…I’m still figuring it out—trying to erode years of low self-esteem and unworthiness—it’s getting easier and more clear so that’s good.

Pay attention to those little “downloads” you receive either in an odd thought, or in a repeating phrase that may come through friends, billboards, coworkers, kids, and spouses—it may be the voice of something divine trying to get your attention.