Tag Archives: angels

Our Dark Side

shadow

Ever had a thought so terrible that you are too ashamed to even admit produced it?  It’s like someone or something momentarily hijacked your brain waves.  It happens to all humans, and some have coined this phenomenon our shadow self.  It’s human nature to battle with duality.  The Jekyll and Hyde affect.  The battle front against inner demons have kept psychologists in business for many years.

The problem is, there may be no problem at all.  Being human means duality.  Only God possesses a truly unified consciousness of love.  Because we have free will, we have the ability to create a consciousness or thought that is the opposite of God, or the opposite of unity.  The best definition of this thought product is fear.

God had a thought, and here we are.  We had a thought that differed from God’s view, and hell was created as it is the opposite of God.  Hell is the manifestation of duality (good versus evil).  A thought started it all.  Thoughts are things, don’t forget that.

So what do we do with this self-created hell?  In the book The Shadow Effect by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, and Marianne Williamson, we are given solutions.  Often solutions are sought via religious texts, activist groups, and political righteousness.  Unfortunately these cultivate an “us” versus “them” mentality, which is the opposite of God or unity.  As I said earlier, God is all encompassing and is unified in love.  The moment duality or “us” versus “them” is created, the shadow is ignited to grow.

There is nothing wrong with groups that uphold love and gather in servitude and kindness but one must keep the mind focused on unity and understanding as oppose to defeating evil.  Victor and victim depict duality, which supports the shadow; however, understanding and unity are not bipolar and support God consciousness.

Solutions to unify with, accept, and illuminate the shadow will bring us closer to God consciousness.

The shadow is understood as:

  • The secret, dark side of yourself you refuse to acknowledge as part of you
  • Any habits you wouldn’t admit you have
  • All of our fears, worries, anxieties, guilt, and shame
  • The side of us that wants to place blame
  • Isolation

Unifying the shadow is understood as:

  • Acknowledge it exists, and is indeed a part of you
  • Releasing judgement and forgiving the shadow
  • Moving on with your life, focusing on positive projection
  • Focusing on unity and collective well-being

Some may ask, “What is projection?”  Projection are feelings you place on others that are really your own.  An extremely joyful person projects joy, which enables that person to see joy in other people.  An extremely fearful person projects fear, which enables that person to see fear in other people.

You may then ask “how can I focus on unity?”  Unity is love, and a knowingness that really as humans we share experiences and thoughts.  My pain is felt by all humans and my joy is celebrated by all.  The knowingness that we are all experiencing together, there is no isolation.

Chopra D, Ford D, Williamson M.  The Shadow Effect.  Harper Collins Publishing.  New York, New York.  2010.

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35 Treinta y Cinco: A Birthday Dream

35

It is said that dream time is when we fly to heaven.  My dreams are often elaborate and memorable, they’ve always been.  Passed relatives, God, the angels, and creations unknown to this world infiltrate my mind with ornamental color and sound.  Last night, the night before my birthday, I excitedly drifted to sleep.

My visitor was a small, gray haired woman about the age of 80.  Her skin was glowing, her eyes warm, and her subtle smile comforting.  She never said a word but began to show me things.  The way that she presented these things was different.  Instead of simply being shown a picture, she allowed me to experience.  A simple merry-go-round turned into all of the sensations of the ride:  the lights, music, the up and down motion, and the sense of thrill.  A field turned into me walking into the field, the sunshine warmed my back, musky flowers filled my nose, and the wind danced around my body.

We moved slowly away from the experiences, and back into reality.  She was a part of my family.  She came to church with me, ate lunch with us, and helped me take the kids to the bathroom after the meal.  As we left the bathroom, she said something to me in Spanish.  I quickly answered back, impressed with my Spanish repertoire, and my sister (who is actually fluent in Spanish) was impressed.

Now to the present moment:  My alarm goes off.  Time to get up and exercise.  Oh yeah, it’s my birthday.  OH!  My dream was so crazy last night!  Who was that woman? 

The birthday workout is killer.  I’m exhausted!  Time to drive to work.  Oh yeah!  That woman, who is she? 

The morning commute allotted plenty of time for my mind to wonder, to relive the dream.  Just as I determined it was Mother Teresa, the Spanish phrase resurfaced, and then I knew.  The woman is Abuela.  My brother-in-law’s grandmother.  Abuela (Spanish for grandmother) visits me often but I don’t always recognize her because I’m not looking for her.  I’m expecting someone from my side of the family.  With this dream, I am confirmed in knowing she looks after me as well and is actually overseeing my continued growth here on earth.  Her Mother Teresa-like energy reminds me to lead with a giving, servant’s heart.

I felt selfish for even thinking this…but I wondered why I didn’t hear anything from Paw Paw, Grandma, Great Grandma, Nana, or Jerry?

Paw Paw died two years ago and has been invading my dreams ever since.  I welcome him and look forward to it.  As I opened the web browser on my phone, I saw a picture of my sister and me.  We took the picture the last time we visited Ohio two years ago for his funeral.  There it is, a birthday wish from him too!

Nagging Thanks


As I rushed around the house getting myself ready for the Holistic Fair, where I was going as an intuitive vendor and wellness practitioner, I threw on an amethyst necklace gifted to me by my sister that matched my outfit.  A gentle nudge told me “that’s not the right one.”  My eyes were drawn to a beautiful fluorite pendant and intuition said “this one.”  The fluorite luckily found its way into my procession by a generous vendor at a community festival.  But I was in a hurry.  Ain’t nobody got time to change necklaces when the one I have on is perfectly fine…and matches my outfit!  I tossed the fluorite in my back pocket, because I physically could not leave without it, and headed out the door.  I had a long drive ahead of me.  About an hour and half into the drive I felt something gently slide, then drop down my shirt.  It felt as if someone had just floated by and unclasped my necklace.  When I pulled the necklace out, a small link had come apart.  I thought “no biggie” I’ll just re-attach the link, tighten it, and put it back on…simple as that.  I re-attached the link and tightened it down with my best pinching effort.  As I brought it up in front of my face to open the clasp, my jaw dropped.  I had totally negated the clasp and hooked the links together in a way that made the clasp useless (refer to picture for details).  How did I not notice what I was doing?!  The necklace isn’t big enough to fit over my head…great!  I tried to un-link the links to start over…they wouldn’t budge!  I thought “I pinched it down, surely I can pull it apart!”  No.  As a woman, I had looked forward to sporting a pretty crystal around my neck.  I suddenly remembered, my fluorite!  I reached back into my pocket and scolded myself for not listening to that ever-so-gentle nudge to wear the fluorite.  I could hear a heavenly giggle as I said “nice one guys!” I thanked them for their nagging capabilities and intervention.

God, the angels, our guides, and loved ones speak to us all the time.  They never leave our side and continue to watch and intervene appropriately as we carry on here on earth.  Interventions become more pronounced as you welcome them in as divine participants in your life.  Few people experience loud, booming voices, apparitions, or out of this world dreaming but this doesn’t mean you aren’t meant to experience the voice of Spirit.  The tangible things in this world may be the only way to get our attention without sending us to a psych ward.  Attention to the voice of intuition, which is always pleasant, kind, and loving, as well as those gentle nudges, misplaced objects, and coincidences…will open you up to a divine communication center.  Faith in life after death and a Creator is a hallmark of a happy life, it’s scientifically proven.  Our loving Creator wants to talk to us every day, wants to set our path straight and clear, wants to explain why things happen, and wants us to be happy and compassionate.  Spirit is ready to tell us exactly how to do it but we must pay attention to those ever-so-gentle nudges.

New Skin

snake

Certainly my death in another dimension was from a snake.  Fear of snakes is a common phobia, and I suffer with many.  I pray them out of my life and pray them away from my home…or at least away from my sight.  As a little girl, I remember playing at my grandmother’s farm.  She warned me “if you ever see a snake, you have one chance,” as she picked up a gardening hoe with a stern look, focusing her blue eyes she proceeded, “and you better hit it HARD!”  My grandmother said this in a jokingly-serious manner as she taught us how to protect ourselves.

As an adult, my husband and I purchased a home right on the cusp of city and country giving us land, trees and easy access to the highways.  You know what this means?  Snakes.  A small creek provides relief from the heat and acreage provides the serpent’s playground and cafeteria.  God has answered my prayers.  My husband spots them all the time in the yard, there’s been a few attic sightings, but never have we seen any in the house.  The best of all is that after 10 years, I’ve never physically seen ANY.  They prefer to visit me in my dreams.  Ugh…forgot to set that boundary…but let me tell you how this has been a good thing.

I often advise clients to honor the wisdom and companionship in animals.  Try to receive what they may be teaching you about yourself.  They are often carriers of God’s messages and a reflection of His wisdom. 

Snake has slithered throughout my dreams for years.  She has never harmed me but fear permeates the dream experience.  She’s simply observing me, I subconsciously freak out, and then the dream is over.  Last night was different because yesterday I stepped out of my comfort zone.  My undercover mediumship came to an end as I sat with my brother-in-law at a community health fair with a sign reading “Intuitive Mediums.” The messages delivered were mind-blowing and beyond anything we can give ourselves credit for. Now to the dream:

I was hovering above a water park, because you can do these kinds of things in dreams, observing as a rattlesnake was going down a water slide.  Initially, I was trying to warn all of the children—“there’s a snake!”  I suddenly stopped as I perceived fear in the snake.  The snake wanted nothing more than to experience the slide and return to her owner who was patiently waiting to catch her at the bottom.  Very similar to a child trying a water slide for the first time.  The child is scared, excited, nervous, and ready to be caught my mom or dad at the bottom. The snake got to the bottom of the slide, never rattled once, and swam immediately over to her owner and wrapped herself lovingly around him.  My heart softened.

I am now in the water with said rattlesnake.  I’m awaiting a warning rattle that she is about to strike.  Instead I feel her head slide under my hand, just as a dog requesting an ear rub.

She’s so excited I’m here.  I allow her to wrap herself around me.  Her leathery skin gives me a hug and warms me.  I didn’t realize I was chilled until her warmth reminds me.  She’s been sunning all day collecting heat and is happy to share it with me.  I feel as if I’ve reunited with a best friend I didn’t realize I missed.  I see every detail of her skin and rattle.  She’s plump and orange.  Her rattle is large and ivory—I can’t believe she’s so big.  She doesn’t need to use her rattle right now because she feels no threat or fear, just happiness, love, and excitement to be with me.

As my alarm jolted me awake, I immediately wondered “What did THAT mean?!”  Luckily I’ve studied animal symbology and am immediately reminded that the snake represents transformation, transmutation, and healing.  Snake often resides in the totems of healers and utilizes the power of the sun to heal.  Snake is an observer and quite sentient.  Snake is aware of the warmth of our soul.  I ended up feeling quite honored she befriended me and was kind enough to visit.  I awoke feeling as if a teacher had just congratulated me on a job well done.  My subconscious fear has been removed, and I know snake will assist in the transformation of the conscious fear.

Book List

Many people have asked for a list of books I’d recommend or have read.  Well…here they are!  I’ll try to keep the list updated as more are added.  Of course there are many books I’ve forgotten or can’t remember the title or author so I’d say this is a list of the most recent :).

The Impersonal Life—Joseph Benner

Talking to Heaven—James Van Praagh

Ghosts among us—James Van Praagh

Heaven and Earth—James Van Praagh

Reaching to Heaven—James Van Praagh

Looking Beyond—James Van Praagh

A Still, Small Voice:  A Psychic’s Guide to Awakening Intuition–Echo Bodine

Heaven is For Real—Colten Burpo

Destressifying–Davidji

Secrets of Meditation–Davidji

How to Think Like Einstein—Scott Thorpe

Medical Medium—Anthony William

The Bhagavad GitaSage Vyasa

The Bible—God

Using Your Chakras:  A new Approach to healing Your Life.–Ruth White

The Earth Diet—Liana Werner Gray

You Are What You Eat—Gillian McKeith

Unbound:  A Practical Guide to Deliverance—Neal Lozano

The Big Book of Angel Tarot—Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine

Memories of Heaven—Wayne Dyer

Dying to be Me—Anita Moorjani

Wisdom of Scovel Shinn—Florence Scovel Shinn

Divine Magic—Doreen Virtue

Same Kind of Different As Me–Denver Moore, Lynn Vincent, and Ron Hall

Mary, Queen of Angels—Doreen Virtue

The Forgotten Promise–Sherry Wilde

The Power of Love–James Van Praagh

Life Changing Foods–Anthony William

The Shadow Effect–Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, Marianne Williamson

Pesky: How A Dog Proved God Listens

Our dogs are old.  My husband and I joke that they just want to sit in their rocking chairs, eat, and sleep.  Both of our beauties have blessed our lives for about 14 years.  A once feisty Boston terrier/chow mix and an energetic black lab have settled in their ways.  Games of tug-n-war and long runs in the park have been replaced with short, necessary walks in the yard and long naps in the sunshine.

My husband and I continue to enjoy their presence and love.  We call them our “old ladies.”  Our children love them but have been begging for a “new puppy.”  They yearn for one that will tirelessly fetch and give bountiful kisses and tail wags.  We had a handsome chocolate lab named Bruce Lee who was their “puppy.”  He tragically died at the age of 6 after a seizure leaving all of us heartbroken.  His rearing was difficult on our female dogs due to their possessive ways.  Because our “old ladies” are well…old, we simply do not want to introduce a new animal that will likely result in last-ditch dog fights and sleepless nights for all involved.

But still…what child doesn’t want a puppy?! I empathize with this and remember having several puppies growing up, which contributed to my love and appreciation for animals.  I feel as if I am robbing my children of a vital childhood experience.  What is the solution?  There’s no convincing my husband and no rational argument.

In prayer, I thanked God and the angels for providing us with the perfect dog.  I asked our deceased chocolate lab Bruce Lee to lead the perfect dog to our house allowing him to just “show up out of nowhere.”  I could not come up with a solution that would suit both my husband and the kids so I simply gave it up to God and the universe to sort out the details.

The answer to my prayer came the next day.  A bouncing, well groomed, well fed, energetic little male dog landed on our door step.  The kids were thrilled.  He wore a rabies tag with no phone number.  The kids played all afternoon with him, and I made him a bed and gave him food and water.  I vowed to take him to the vet on Monday to see if he was microchipped but spent the rest of the weekend watching my children enjoy what they now considered “their” dog.  They lovingly named him Pesky after one of my son’s stuffed animals.

Monday came and Pesky disappeared.  The children were crushed.  I called out for him but he was nowhere to be found.  I thanked God for sending him back to his loving family.  Both of the children broke down in tears and reassurance that he was with his family had no impact.  They were worried sick for him…I was too to be honest.

The following morning, he was back with a new tag that read, “Sonny–if I am lost please call my mommy,” with a phone number listed at the bottom.  I thanked God for validation that he was okay and back with his family.  We were all relieved.  We called Sonny’s mommy who lived just one street over.  When she arrived she apologized immensely stating “I just can’t figure out where he is getting out of the fence!”  I told her he is a blessing and assured it is no burden on us.

Sonny has come to visit a few more times and has proven to be the perfect dog for us!  Thank you God, thank you angles, thank you Bruce Lee!